Wednesday, July 04, 2012

This just in...Romney Agrees to Debates

     Wolfeboro, NH (North American News Service) -- Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney has agreed to a series of debates, with himself.  The surprise agreement came after Mr. Romney labeled the mandate under President Obama's healthcare reform a tax, contradicting his chief spokesman, who had called the levy a penalty only twenty-four hours before.  In calling the charge a tax, Mr. Romney also differed with his own frequent declarations that the payment required of those who fail to buy health insurance under his Massachusetts healthcare reform is a penalty, and not a tax.  

     Three debates are planned initially, but more may be added as necessary to address the issues, according to Romney campaign officials.

     In addition to healthcare, the debates are likely to touch on whether Osama bin Laden was an important target in the war on terrorism, whether the minimum wage is essential to a growing economy or an unreasonable burden on expanding prosperity, and whether Mr. Romney's favorite baseball team is the Boston Red Sox, the Detroit Tigers or the Toledo Mud Hens, from vote-rich Ohio.  (When asked his favorite Mud Hens player, Mr. Romney famously named Max Klinger, momentarily forgetting that Mr. Klinger was a character on M*A*S*H who was a Mud Hens fan.)

     Asked if he frequently changes positions on issues, Mr. Romney refused to say, and referred all questions to his campaign.  The campaign had no comment.


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