Oy, gevalt!

Here's enough to make you turn a deathly shade of pale green (well, me anyway): A rumor that Madonna wants to do a re-make of Casablanca. With, presumably, Madonna reprising(?) the role of Ilse Lund (Ingrid Bergman for those of you who do not have the script committed to memory). Such a transparently bad idea that the website reporting it, the scholarly BuzzSugar, comments:

[Madonna's] [a]ge is the least of the issues I'd have with Madonna taking the role of Ilsa in a remake of Casablanca. First and foremost I have a problem with the words "a remake of Casablanca."

Uh, huh. I mean, wouldn't that be a crime against humanity or something? Or at least against good taste.?